Forgive me for the choices I make

Let me confess
it's not easy for me to say:
I'm sorry..... please
forgive me

so let me try again:
I'm sorry
please forgive me for the choices I made
in the present absence of yesterdays

oh! let me try one last time to say:
I'm sorry please forgive me for choices I have made
I'm sorry I'm so sorry as sorry is such a hard thing to say
so let me raise this reservoir of frozen tears above my head
as i kneel before the alter I once altered

so I'm sorry- please forgive me!
for all the wrong choices I once made.


ronel mccarthy

I am selfish in love

If the night beckons you
and the moon is full,
and we lay naked under the stars
with a lock of your hair on my fingertips
and your favorite song;

I would be motioned by your ebb and flow
but my body and soul always know
if your presence here
is everywhere-
then I won't let you...
touch me there.


ronel mccarthy

I grew up in a small town called Hankey

I feel so overwhelmed
when I ponder over these seemingly austere surroundings
where I ran around as a soft wind was the only thing
that caressed my naked skin
and dry leaves rustled in my tangled hair without care.

I am still entranced by vivid memories
of yesterday when my grandmother always-
without fail-
had an extra plate for any king or commoner
who came her way
as she stood tall and humble before the universe.

So what better place to be after they shipped
you miles away from home-

to ridicule you and spit on you.

destitute and alone
you roamed around their streets
diminished
and cold
as they gently carved up your soul;

and only upon Mandela's request
the western world relinquished their hold
and send our Sarah Baartman home.



(My hometown-Hankey-Hankey is located in the Eastern Cape in South Africa.It is a small town on the confluence of the Klein and Gamtoos rivers. On August 19,2002, the remains of Saartjie Baartman were laid to rest on Vergaderingskop, a hill on the edge of town.)

Awakening within my journey

I love the moving part of it as I journey to seek and find if by chance my DECAY ascends a multidimensional ladder to transcend and reverse my karmic energy as I fall and break down into complete nothingness; aching that by chance this inner waste is a decoy to prolong my inner journey to transmutate and find what lies dormant in waiting. ronel mccarthy

Bitter-Sweet Seduction

do you like avocados and oysters like me?
then come over to my place and dine with me;
the wine is semi-sweet with a vicious rump steak
and my favorite-
mushrooms
and garlic.

now my dear darling sweetheart from hell
what would you like for starters?
perhaps a sandwiched ham or pop?
I am sorry my love;
what a ludicrous idea!
I don't give a damn!

my slithering snake
with cold embrace
and uncouth ways

from whence you came
sail back again-


ronel mccarthy

A cold room to a view

I came to view -
unperturbed by shapes incarcerated by
plastic wrappers
bearing camouflages of
earthly powders and cream
to lessen the deathly silence of death;

I came to view your lifeless body
that once embraced and ravished mine:
I came with my heart in my hand to say good-bye

oh how I envy your endless slumber.



(My very first visit to a mortuary to view the corpse of the father of my children-July 2009)


ronel mccarthy